Investment News recently carried an article Inheritance conflict is the rule, not the exception, Wells Fargo finds by Steve Randall. He opens with “Sixty-one percent of adult children from affluent American families say they have experienced negative fallout from an inheritance - including hurt feelings, fairness disputes, estrangement, and legal battles - compared with just 29% of their Baby Boomer parents, according to Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management's 2026 Wealth Transfer Study.”
There is no joy in that sentence. That is, frankly, just heartbreaking. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can help ourselves. Let’s look at the identified causes from the article and imagine a better path.
The conversation gap | Intuitively, we all know this to be true, and the data confirms it. Despite 80%+ of us acknowledging better estate planning conversations would be beneficial, “Only 21% of parents report having detailed conversations about their estate plans with their children, and nearly one-third have had little or no meaningful discussion at all. More than half of adult children (57%) say they wish their families were more open about money, while 42% describe finances as a topic that is routinely avoided.”
But what if we had a structured, family Board Meeting on an annual or quarterly basis? What if a template agenda and invite list, family-specific data and reporting, and structured execution paths with clear action items were part of the seasons of our year? What if your wealth manager, estate attorney, and tax accountant all knew each other’s names and could provide coordinated, improved outcomes for your family? What if you had 10+ conversation starters to begin this process so that the family can get into the rhythm of treating the Business of the Family as a business?
What the documents don't say | According to the article, 90%+ of parents have an idea of how much wealth they are going to pass on yet only ~50% of the next generation has an idea what to expect and therefore plan accordingly. And this isn’t about greed (necessarily). As Mom and Dad live longer, can they age in place at the family home? Can they afford to age much longer than any of us thought was reasonable even a few years ago. Will they be able to ride off into the sunset as they deserve or will they need financial, physical, or emotional support going forward? These questions are not about greed, they are about loving Mom and Dad and ensuring they are well taken care of.
But what if we had a clear accounting of the assets and liabilities of the family? The wealth manager is still expected to increase the amounts under their control, but we’re so much more than just financial accounts. What about the family home? Jewelry? Cars? Furniture? Art? Everything else? Mom and Dad’s small business that got us all here? The vacation spot shared with the broader family? Mortgages? Credit Cards? Intrafamily Loans? Intrafamily Gifts? What if you had an up to date, accurate accounting of the Business of Family so that you could plan and ensure Mom and Dad and the family is taken care of?
The family business blind spot | Rather than dive into the data here, I would rather highlight the following sentence from the article, "Many children assume they're preparing to inherit a business," Lorne Maltenfort, national director of Private Wealth Planning at Wells Fargo Wealth & Investment Management said. "Many parents have entirely different plans. Neither perspective is necessarily wrong, but surprise is not a good succession strategy."
“Surprise is not a good succession strategy.” Ain’t that the truth. We need to run the Business of the Family like a business: clear goals, orderly paperwork, and accurate accounting so that everyone understands reality, where the family is headed, and how we get there, together. Improved family communications, reduced family conflict, and improved family outcomes. We can help ourselves and our families move forward…