Let’s imagine for a minute that Mom and Dad won at the Game of Life. Not only did they raise three good kids, those kids have gone on to start families of their own. The adult kids are currently known as The Sandwich Generation because they’re 45-55 years old, raising Mom and Dad, and raising the Next Generation at the same time. But the family is kind. They take care of each other because that’s the example that Mom and Dad set.
Mom passed away a few years ago. Life happens. Dad kept the family together, kept providing, and even did well enough to buy a second home by the lake. And that’s where we pick up the story laid out by Kurt Supe CPA on X, “He left the lake house to "bring the kids together." It became the reason they don't speak. Three adult children. One beautiful waterfront cabin worth $600k. His will split it equally. He thought he was being fair. Generous, even.”
Equal does not equal equitable. And not just that, but sometimes equal will only equal trouble. “Six months later the fights started: Cleaning fees. Dock repairs. Who gets July 4th weekend. Whose kids broke the kayak. By the second summer, two of them stopped talking. The oldest finally sold her share to the youngest just to make the fighting stop. The middle one hasn't been back since. The place that was supposed to keep his memory alive became the one thing they never talk about.”
Mom and Dad, when was the last time you asked if we wanted to share the family home? Or if we are so lucky, the vacation home? When did we ask Mom and Dad what the plan was? When did we ask each other how we wanted to handle the family home(s)? When did we have these family conversations? When are we proactively planning for Mom and Dad, for us, and for the Next Generation? Did we do this at the Kitchen Table or the Courtroom?
The law of unintended consequences reigns supreme in estate planning. “Because the lake house you think is a gift…sometimes becomes the bomb you drop on your family.” Being generous can cost you. Not just in wasted money, but in ruined relationships. And all because we didn’t take the time to plan properly? Estate planning is an act of love. For those we leave behind, and for our legacies. We can help ourselves and our families. We can move ourselves forward…